Steel Blade of Loneliness
by Silver Teardrops
Summary: Kagome is put through a test in life, to die or to live and hurt others. Either way, she manages to hurt someone-will she overcome this situation, and will She and inuyasha have a child? Answers will be present all along in this fic. RR :) COMPLETE!
1. ch 1

Steel Blade of Loneliness  
  
By: Silver Teardrops  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Why? why did it have to be him? why did he do that? It was meant for me, why did he have to jump in front of me. I should be the one dead, not him. He doesn't deserve this, I brought this danger to him. I'm such a horrible person. To endanger someone's life like that.   
  
"Kagome!! Watch out behind you!!!" Inuyasha's warning was a little too late and when I turned to see the attack, everything went blurry. First I see the demon lunging at me and then a blur of blue and green passed my eyes. Before I found the source of color I was distracted by Inuyasha slaying the demon into pieces with the tetsaiga. He landed on the ground safely sheathing the sword once more. I looked around for search of the fallen shikon shards when I found something else I rather not see, ever.   
  
"Souta...Souta!!!" I ran to him. I first looked him from head to toe. Noticing his green shirt was now drenched in blood and his jeans ripped and also bloody. He was still breathing, barely.   
  
"Kagome..."  
  
"I'm here Souta...please hang on...Inuyasha I need you to take us to the hospital quick!" Kagome shouted and Inuyasha was on the way with the two in his arms.   
  
"Kagome...please-..." Souta fell into unconsciousness and that was a bad sign.   
  
"Hurry Inuyasha!! He's going to die!!!" Kagome panicked and Inuyasha sped up and arrived just inside the emergency room and placed Kagome down and flitted to the outside to hide for a while longer.   
  
"Young lady when did you get here?" A doctor surprised that where he was looking at a while ago was empty now occupying a girl.   
  
"No time...help my brother...he got in an accident...please help him." Kagome pleaded as the doctor ordered nurses to place Souta on a stretcher and the doctor nodded to reassure Kagome and ran after the racing people. Kagome felt dizzy. She collapsed on the ground, and was soon helped by Miroku, who was accompanied by Sango, and Shippo.   
  
"Relax Kagome-san, the man will do his best to help Souta." He coaxed her to settle down.   
  
The reason being that The whole gang was here was a demon was detected in Kagome's time with 5 shikon shards and they traveled back to her time and fought there, and so in result gained shards but the price for it was high. Kagome sat shivering with Inuyasha holding her and Miroku and Sango was sitting anxiously waiting for the doctor to come out again. Shippo was too exhausted in battle and was sleeping now in Sango's lap. Hours upon hours it seems passed, but finally the big pale blue doors opened and out came that doctor from before.   
  
I rushed out of Inuyasha's warm embrace and in front of the doctor.   
  
"So...how is he? Is he going to be ok? Can we see him? Answer me!" Inuyasha soon came up behind me and held onto my shoulders, I was half glad that he was human for tonight but also not. The doctor looked from me to Inuyasha and to Miroku and Sango.   
  
"I'm afraid...I have bad news..." That shook my entire being. I grabbed hold of his white coat and pulled him to me. He looked shocked.  
  
"What happened? Is he going to be alright?...Is he going to be alive?" I choked out as tears threaten to escape. He held onto my hands and gently removed it from his coat but not from his grasp.  
  
"We couldn't do anything more to save him-Miss your brother is dead." The doctor hated to do this, because he knew how if felt to lose a sibling. I gasped, then slowly I backed away from the doctor who looked at me with sympathy in his large gray eyes. I backed into a wall and then slumped down curling my hands around my pulled in knees. I shook furiously crying. I heard Miroku and Sango ask if they could see him and Inuyasha came over and picked me up to see my brother one last time.   
  
We entered very quietly, for no reason I might add. There he was, as best I could see through my blurred vision. He seems to be at peace lying there. The nurse probably cleaned up his blood and so he looks as if he was merely sleeping. I tugged on Inuyasha's clothes and begged to be put down. I was the first to come up to Souta. I stood over him, I took my hand and brushed his cheek slightly and then made move to push the bangs from his eyes, his face. I smiled, then felt whimpering trying to come out from my mouth. "Souta, are you resting alright?" I asked that every night to him when he was sleeping, always hearing an answer of ="Of course sis, you worry too much." But still nothing came from him. I took my other hand and covered my mouth trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to pierce through the silence of the room. The tears I could no longer stop, they flowed with my eyes open, I needn't to blink. I then fell to my knees and placed my head on his arm crying no longer stopping the loud sobs coming form myself. I could hear Sango's soft crying and Miroku's comforting words. I knew she could feel the same as me because of Kohaku, but I was the cause of Souta's death, Sango was because of a trap. I was fully guilty of his death. I clung onto the bed sheets, feeling my knuckles turn white. "Souta, Why? Answer me please. Why?" I begged my voice partially muffled by the sheets. After seemingly hours (really minutes, painful minutes) passed I felt Inuyasha tug at my sleeve. I looked up at him. He stepped back a little. Is he afraid that I might be the reason to his death too?   
  
Inuyasha tugged on Kagome's sleeve to tell her that the doctor's really would like to see her. But when she looked up even Miroku, Sango, and Shippo (who was now awake tears in his green eyes) could see the guilt she felt and the pain. They all wanted to comfort her but the only person she let touch her ever since was Inuyasha.   
  
"Kagome, please, the doctors would like to see you now, and the sooner it's done you can come back." Miroku's words hit me hard. The sooner I can come back to what? A corpse of my younger, kind brother? I was helped to my feet by Inuyasha and He led me to the waiting doctor just outside the horribly white and ghostly door. The creaking of the hinges were like fire burning me alive, it was just to loud after being in mostly silence. "I presume your name is Higuarashi kagome?" the doctor asked looking at some papers. I nodded, wiping some tears that still flowed. "Your brother was Souta?" I nodded again. "Well, I hear your mother and grandfather is out of town for a couple of days and is expected to return tomorrow because we contacted them for you. You see your family is close to the hospital as you can say." The doctor explained. I listened. "Well, since this happened I have to ask you what could have caused this? I mean once he arrived here, he had a huge cut in his stomach, almost piercing to the other side, and now it seems only like a minor cut slash. Please explain to me how this accident happened." The doctor went on describing the gruesome wounds and I cringed every time, knowing they weren't supposed to be on him. "Doctor I don't really know exactly what happened either, I heard loud noises, crashes and then went to find my brother there. I was just getting him a jacket since he preferred being outside for a while when I came back he was in this...condition." I held back my tears to at least get through this conversation. He nodded and that meant that he was finished with the questions and I went back into the room.   
  
Sango and Miroku was at his side now, telling him that he was brave to have done what he did. That it wasn't in vain, that his sister, me, would live life for him. How could they say that so casually? As if I was actually going to live that easily with the guilt building in me? How so? I cleared my throat. "Sango, Miroku, I think you should be getting back to my house, You guys need rest after all the fighting." I reasoned and they was at my side in mere seconds. "We would like to be by your side, not at your house resting, relaxing. You need us and we'll be there for you." Sango's words were kind, but somehow I took it the wrong way entirely. "Sango-I never needed you or Miroku or even Shippo for that matter. Just-just leave me here and go back and rest, for you need it to find more shards to complete the jewel and defeat Naraku." I said bitterly, seconds later regretting what was spilled from my lips. I made an attempt to take it back but Miroku stopped me from it. "Ok, we'll leave you be Kagome-san but, know that we're here if you need us." And he took Sango's hand and Sango held the little kitsune in her arms when they walked out and back to the shrine. I sat down on the chair next to Souta's hospital bed. Inuyasha followed me but stayed a clear feet away or 2. He respected my mourning.   
  
"Miss, I would really prefer you leave now." The nurse said once more to me. I knew why they wanted me out of this room-this hospital. They were going to announce to make official that Souta truly is dead and won't ever have a chance of coming back. I shook my head stubbornly. "No, I will stay here until he can't be seen anymore." Meaning by that was coming sooner than I hoped for as the nurse sighed when the two male nurse came in and placed a neatly ironed white sheet over my little bro's body. I held my tears in, as I knew this was why I stayed, to see him officially announced dead, to try to believe it myself. "Miss, visiting hours are over and-" The nurse began again. "No need, I've seen what I stayed for, and thank-you for cleaning him up at least a bit, I would hate to see him still covered in blood." I smiled a soul-less smile that made the nurse shiver at the very sight. "Good-night." She bowed and left as Inuyasha held me in another embrace to help me from shivering from the night's cold air.   
  
***  
  
"Kagome, please, come back when you feel like it, you don't have to come right away, take all the time you need." Sango assured her friend as the group was huddled around the well. It was well over 3 days since the funeral of Souta, and my mother and grandpa came home crying but didn't even think about blaming me for one second. How wrong they could be at times. I smiled. "Thank-you Sango, I'll take rest here and if you have and emergency tell Inuyasha to come get me and I'll be there in a second." I Went over to her and she hugged me and I to her. Then Miroku joined in and Shippo too. They were all there for me, I didn't deserve them. I let go and watch them descend down the well. The cursed well. But also I'm thankful for it. Strange as it may seem. I then notice something still in the corner.   
  
"Shippo? Why didn't you leave with them?" I asked as he jumped into my open arms crying like the baby I treated him. "I didn't want to leave you, no matter what you said to me or did to me, I don't want to leave you." Shippo's whines registered in my mind and deep into my heart. He was like a son to me, the son I wanted all my life and hoped for. "It's ok Shippo-chan. You can stay here with me for a while, and Inuyasha will visit us occasionally." I cheerfully announced as he cheered up at least 5 times than he was just now. "really? Thank-you Kagome!" He held onto me and I combed through his fur.   
  
"Inuyasha take care ok? And tell them don't worry, I'll get over this soon, I hope. So tell them enjoy themselves they deserve it." I bid a temporary farewell to Inuyasha as he leaped down into the dark well two days after the other group members' departure. Shippo was still asleep at such an early hour in the morning, even the birds refused to chirp at this time. I went on my way tighten my grip on my jacket thrown around my shoulders. I went to a bench placed by a tree, not the Goshinboku, but another old tree. It was more of and oak or pine or something of that sort. I didn't really care at the moment. I just wanted a place to think, and being outside away from any contact with modern technology was the best answer right now. I breathe in and out in an attempt to relax and soon found how the warm breeze around me feel like when I talked to him. It made me even guiltier but also the same time glad that I can still remember what effect he had on me.   
  
My little brother, always there to help out. Though sometimes he does get a bit whiny but he is a kid after all. Ever since I was sucked into the well, Souta had matured mentally though not yet physically. he stood up to most of his fears. I loved my brother, anyone could tell by the way I was around him or the subject of him. What is to happen now? I am now the only child my mother has left. What more can I do? I don't want to kill another, I don't want to live anymore. I stared at the pocket knife I carried around all times now, just in case. I looked at the blade, the first rays of morning reflecting off it like a mirror. I brought it closer to my wrist. It won't hurt much, not as much as I am already hurting inside. I took my left wrist and was about to slice it on a vein when mother came out. I quickly hid the folded knife back into my nightgown.   
  
"Kagome, you should go inside, I have made breakfast if you wish to eat." My mother stands by the bench I'm on. I smile and stood up taking her arm with my arm. "Let's wake up grandpa and Shippo, they need to learn how to wake up early anyways. I'll help you set the table." I replied and we made our way back into the house. I finished placing the plates filled with appetizing food when Shippo bounded down the stairs with gramps scampering after him. "Get back here Kitsune! Who told you to play such a cruel joke on an elderly man?" Gramps complained at Shippo while the fox stuck his tongue at him. "Why you-" "Gramps." I warned and he grumbled to himself and made his way to an empty chair and sat devouring the food right away. "Kagome, which is my plate?" Shippo asked tugging on my work uniform. I picked him up and kissed him on his cheek. "Whichever one you like. Tell my mom that I have to go to work now and to rest while she's at it. I make enough to put some food on the table." I let Shippo down as he pouted a little but ate food while I left.   
  
A/n: okay im finished with the first chapter. and thinking i should stop, so i need your reviews either to tell me i'll be wasting my time or you could tell me to get off my lazy butt and start typin more to this story. It's all up to the reviewers. If i don't get about 10 or more i'm going stop this story from progressing so read and review!!! by the way is that kagome's real last name and is that how u spell souta? kay review to me my mistakes too. 


	2. ch 2

Chapter 2   
  
"Kagome, hurry up with the order. The family has waited far enough." My boss complained to me about the third time in five minutes. "Alright, coming." I picked up a tray filled with fancy foods and made my way to their table. "Hello, nice to meet you. Well here is your food, would any of you like something to drink?" I asked taking out a writing pad. The teenage boy there, around my age, was looking me up and down that I just wanted to slap him. It wasn't like I like to wear this short--too short skirt and tight blouse. "May I help you?" I asked with a bit of annoyance heard in my voice, but the guy barely noticed it. "Um yeah, I could go for some root beer. Hi, my name is Ray, what is yours?" He asked with a confident smile on his face. I smiled back, "My name is your waitress for the evening. So what would the others drink?" I asked ignoring his attempt to find out my true name. Good thing I wasn't wearing my name tag today. "Ok, the drinks will be out shortly enjoy your meal." I turned as my friend yelled out my name far across the restaurant. "YO' KAGOME! YOU KAGOME BY THE FAMILY, COME HERE WE NEED YOUR HELP! ARE YOU DEAF? COME HERE OR BE FIRED!" I mumbled. "FINE! excuse me." As I went towards the area where I'm needed Ray grabbed my wrist. "Wait, so your name is Kagome? What a nice name." I snorted as i pulled my hand out of his grasp. "ENJOY your FOOD." I said sternly and left quicker.   
  
"Good job kagome, here is your weekly pay check. And I send best regards to your family." The manager said in his office. I nodded and took the check. "And Kagome, I've added a bit of something extra for all your over shifts, even the ones you weren't assigned to." He smiled. I thanked him again and left. I met up with my friend and he took me home with him. "So Hojo-kun, How much did you earn this week?" I asked looking at the price on my check. He stopped at a red light and turned towards me. "I've got about the same, did the boss give ya bonus and some extra?" I nodded slowly. "How did you know?" "I just asked him to. I know your family needs your money since your mom hasn't been quite right and no one else there can work enough." I bent over and captured my best guy friend in a big bear hug. "Thank you so much. And for everything else. I don't know what I would've done without my guy friend here to comfort me." He blushed. "So when is your boyfriend coming back?" He asked as he resumed driving. "Tomorrow I think, when are you and Tomoe going out again?" "Tonight in a few hours, so you wanna join us? We're going clubbin." He rounded into the front of the shrine. I took my bag of clothes and my purse and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for the invite but I need to stay home and take care of the family, plus I think Shippo is a little sick, he threw up this morning." I opened the door and left waving as i descended the stairs.   
  
"Kagome You're Home!!!" Shippo jumped me when I came entering the house. I fell back on the ground by his unexpected impact. My mother came out to greet me also. "Hey Kagome, Suppers about ready, you wanna get up and help me prepare the dishes?" She asked helping me to my feet without an answer. "Mom, I got my pay check today, so tomorrow I'll cash it in and I can go buy more groceries to stock up on. And then pay gramps medical bills that we still owe. Then the rest I'll save it until we need it for something else." I said casually placing the forks here and there. "So it's from your fancy restaurant right? What about your other job...what is it again? Um...that company secretary? When is it your going to get paid for that job?" She ushered Gramps and Shippo to the table while still talking to me. "Um probably tomorrow, but the money from there is used for big money emergencies, like the roof or for fixing the car and other stuffs like that. Alone with that job I could keep up with everything but i like working at the restaurant too." She pushed me towards a chair and made me sit down next to her chair. "Let's eat!" She clamped her hands together and we soon dug into the delicious smelling food.   
  
"kagome? KAGOME!!!" The scream shook me from my haunting nightmare of Souta as I found the source of sound thrashing about my side. I took hold of Shippo into my warm embrace and he settled somewhat but not because of me, because of the dream, perhaps nightmare. "Kagome, why? Why leave me? I need you, don't go, Please..." I heard everything Shippo mumbled as tears fell from him closed eyes. I felt like crying myself, "I won't ever leave you Shippo, Not you." I whispered sitting up and hugging the little fox to my chest rocking him back into a restful sleep. As soon as I was sure his thrashings would end I set him back on the bed and pulled the sheets up to his chin. I smooth it out and watched as his chest rose and fell. "Sleep tight Shippo-chan." As morning neared i couldn't sleep any longer. I went to the bathroom instead to wake me up totally with a cold shower and then I could get ready for work.   
  
~~~  
  
"Inuyasha, as soon as you get over there, tell Kagome what has happened." Miroku said as he tended some wounds on Sango. Inuyasha nodded remembering the events.   
  
Sango and Miroku was fighting when he reached this side of the well. And as soon as he joined in battle Naraku came out doing a dirty trick no one could ever do. He made Souta fight against Inuyasha and this wasn't the same as Kohaku, no it wasn't. At least Kohaku was dead before being brought to life with a shard, Souta was very much alive. He is just being used against his will to fight. Unfortunately, this one can talk his mind tell the plans he will partake in, but can slay Inuyasha merciless.   
  
"I will, but how?" Inuyasha asked as he remembered how close he was to dying when Souta wounded his chest. How Souta cried as doing so repeating, "I'm so sorry, I can't stop it, please run. Now, please, I didn't mean to..." And that really made things harder as the boy was speaking the truth. So the gang fled from the battle and took cover to regain strength back. Sango has been asleep for a whole day an Miroku was beginning to worry so they made their way back to Kaede's hut. There everyone was treated and was on their way to recovery.   
  
"Time will soon tell you, but now you must go." Sango whispered as she tried to talk to Inuyasha, insuring him doing this was best.   
  
~~~  
  
I walked out my bathroom covering myself with a mere towel around my body. I then sense someone staring a hole into me, so I quickly turned my eyes to where i felt the someone at. "Inuyasha? What?" I tighten my grip on my towel as I stood there waiting for him to respond. "Oh, Um... Miroku...Everything's alright and I thought today I was supposed to come back?" He asked, I smiled. "Of course it is, just don't scare me like that anymore." I went to my closet pulling out my secretary suit/very formal and went back into the bathroom to change. As i came out Shippo was in Inuyasha's lap telling him about where he went for fun, like places called the mall and to theme parks and just plan walks. Inuyasha looks like a father that way. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist; causing him to be stiff for a moment before settling down. "What's the occasion?" He asked. "Just for looking like a father, it's quite cute." I kissed him on the cheek and let go, going over to my dresser i applied make up on, light natural looking ones only. "I don't know why you bother with those "make-up things" you're already pretty." He said as Shippo bounded up his head and sat perched there like a bird. "Well, thank-you. I have work to go to, so you two have fun." I grabbed a briefcase and a purse and made my way downstairs to the shoe closet. Inuyasha leaped after me.   
  
"Kagome, can I take Shippo back to my time for just a while to pick up some of his things he wants?" Inuyasha asked me as i slipped on some stiletto heels, why? I just don't know why I own them much less wear them. "Sure Inuyasha, be sure to be back before I get back from work so we could all go out and eat and probably have some fun later too." I smiled as I caught Inuyasha smiling and catching glances at me. "Shippo go upstairs and change from your pajamas to your clothes and then we could go." Inuyasha told him and he gladly obeyed. "So...no Shippo..." He whispered grabbing me closer to his body. "Yes, no Shippo." I leaned in and we kissed for a while before I broke and I remembered that they need breakfast. "Oh, come one, you guys need some food before you leave." I said catching the jumping Shippo and Inuyasha followed never saying no to food.   
  
"Mom, can you set an extra plate for Inuyasha?" I asked entering the kitchen, she had already prepared one. "I heard some talking upstairs and assumed he was here, so I went ahead and made him one. I Made you a to-go breakfast so you can go to work on time." She handed me a box and gave me a quick hug. I went out waving bye to my boyfriend and my sort-of son and mother. Gramps was still sleeping I guess. I made my way out to the front and waited for Hojo to come by. I then heard my cell phone ring. I picked it up. "Hello? Hojo? Where? Oh, why? No, it's ok, I'll find my own way...thanks." I hung up. Hojo was across town catering some fancy restaurant under short notice. Oh well, he needs his time. I started walking to the nearby bus stop. I chose a seat by this young girl about the age of 15, how long ago was I when I was 15? About 3 years huh? 18 and already juggling 2 jobs, finished high school and post poning college. That's my life. I looked over at her and smiled she smiled back. "My name's Diana, what's yours?" She said to me. "My name's Kagome, so, who are you looking for?" I asked as she was looking around the bus. "My lil bro that's all." "Oh." I was crestfallen again as the image of Souta filled my whole mind. Tears fell from my eyes without me noticing it. "Kagome? Are you alright?" Diana asked me. "Yes, I am. Just remembering someone very close to my heart." I wiped the tears away with my fingertips as my stop was here. "I got to go, nice meeting you Diana." I shook her hand and left to the busy sidewalk of the streets. I was pushed here and there but my mind wasn't on the situation at hand.   
  
: "Souta...SOUTA!!!"   
  
"No, come back here you brat! That's my money!"  
  
"Nah nah nag that's all you sisters do."   
  
"Kagome...Don't....Leave...me..." :   
  
I collapsed on the ground burying my face in my hands crying. I couldn't stand it, being around people didn't help nor was working all the time. It made it worse! People stop to see if i was ok and others walked past me as if I was just a piece of paper. "Kagome? Is that you?" I heard a voice familiar and looked up to see Miroku and Sango walking hand in hand. "What happened why are you crying on the ground?" sango quickly rushed to my side and helped me up. "What? What are you guys doing here in my time?" I asked wiping away the tears that stained my face. "We wanted to see the place for ourselves tour around stuff like that. Kaede told us that we could find you here so we could give you this." Miroku produced a necklace of some sort, much like Inuyasha's but it all black. "What's this?" I asked as i took it from him. "She told us to tell you to wear it and it'll help him get back to normal in our time." He continued explaining. "Who?" I asked as i placed it around my neck. "You mean you don't know?" Sango asked. "No, who?" I asked again. "Um you'll know soon enough. Kay we're finished seeing the sites so we're going to return to slay some demons for some money." Miroku said and that earned a slap from Sango. "We help people because it's right not because of it's rewards." She lectured him on their way back to my shrine. Who? Who am I supposed to get back to normal? "Oh no! I'm gonna be late!!!" I tried my best to run in my heels and made it to the building in less than 3 minutes. I raced past the front desk and up into the elevator and raced my way to my desk in front of the boss's office. AS I sat on the top of my desk to catch a breath he came out. "Good your here early. I need you to place a call for me." He went on about the call while I was doing as he asked.   
  
A/n: Okay I'm going to end there, because i guess I want to. Anyways Thanks for all those who review and I'll finish this story as soon as I can, but i doubt I'll have time since school starting in a few days so I will try my best to finish this story and keep it interesting so I hope you guys review!!! ^ - ^ 


	3. ch 3

Steel Blade Of Loneliness  
  
By: Silver Teardrops  
  
Chapter 3  
  
I came home riding on the bus and a few blocks walking when I saw a figure of red sitting in a nearby tree on the way to my house. I stopped and looked closer with my tired eyes and saw Inuyasha.   
  
"Inuyasha, you can come down now, because I see you." I teased him while he jumped down red in the cheeks. He came over to me and I hugged him close whispering questions about his and Shippo's day. He just ignored them and took in the pleasure of having me close once again. "Kagome, can we go out tonight-just the two of us? I have something to tell you." He pulled away from the warm hug and I nodded. "Of course, let's just go back so I can clean up for tonight. So where's Shippo?" At once something small fell out of the tree Inuyasha had been sitting in. "INUYASHA!! OWW!!!" Shippo cried rubbing his sore butt.   
  
I ran over to him and picked him up into my arms balancing some of the work I took home. "What were you doing in that tree Shippo-chan?" i patted down his messy hair. He pouted at me, "Inuyasha left me up there and didn't take me down with him. And when you were about to walk away I had to try to get down but-I FELL!!!" He started to cry into my shirt. I looked at Inuyasha whitsiling a few feet away and he keeps on inching away. I smiled at him and then looked down at the crying fox. "Oh, Shippo-chan, he didn't mean it, he was going to get you-but you fell off first. But it's ok, You can go home and rest while I go out with him and we'll have a 'talk'. Okay?" He looked up with a gleam in his eyes, and smiled knowingly at me. "Make him pay Kagome." Shippo whisipered; Inuyasha's ears twitched slightly at her response to the 'supposedily' secret. "Oh, I'll make him pay..." I giggled and began walking towards my boyrfriend and off they went to the Shrine to drop off Shippo.   
  
"Oh, you're going out tonight? What about Shippo?" My mother asked as soon as Shippo was set in bed-asleep. "He's sleeping, if he needs something he can get it. So why do you ask? Were you planning on something?" I asked grabbing a new pair of more comfortable clothes and waited for her reply. "Oh, it can wait till tomorrow. Kay have fun and be good now." She winked at me. "MOTHER!" I gasped. She laughed her way out of my room. I can not believe she thinks of that. I went in the bathroom and changed quickly grabbed a few bucks from my dresser on my way out and ran down the stairs and right into Inuyasha.   
  
"Owff." I hitted him straight on. He was offguard talking to my mom. "Kagome-you alright?" He asked after gaining his balance. I was about to grab onto the stairpole when Inuyasha lifted me into his arms. "Inuyasha...put me down..."I made wide eyes at him; because mother was right there. "No, bye Mrs. Higuarashi. We're going to a place of my choice." And with that he flitted out of the house and from then on-he never touched the ground and I kept shrieking, he never did this before_ever_!  
  
"OKay, we're here." Inuyasha declared setting me down on solid ground. I looked around and then tried to name the place but couldn't. "So here is where exactly?" I asked straightening my clothes. He took my right arm and pulled me after him not answering my question. I was smart to wear tennis shoes with my skirt or I would have a broken heel or even an ankle. "What's the hurry? We have all night." I said and then he stopped again-making me bump into his back. He stepped aside and let me see. The sight brought tears to my eyes. I was truly happy that I saw this place again but- I was caught between the grief that hung to it. Inuyasha just silently watched my reaction to the side.   
  
"I remember..." I whispered as i advance towards the little clearing. I saw a little house built on the tree and one on the bottom. I went to the one on the bottom tracing the outline of the-now moldy-door. Then I traced the sign on it after clearing away a few leaves and plants growing on it. "Sota's TreeHouse." I read and tears fell to the ground as I proceeded to open the door. I had to crawl in but i didn't mind, I used to have to crawl too. The space was very big inside, only a few of his personal belongings stayed behind since we moved to a different house. Inuyasha squatted at the door looking at what I am doing, but I no longer cared if I was dirty now, this---used to be---- "Souta's and My secret hideout." I held my hand to my mouth covering it from the wracking sobs that was coming out from me. I didn't knoe memories provoked such horrible reactions.   
  
"Kagome-I'm sorry-I shouldn't have brought you here. I just thought you might like to remember the good times you shared with Souta." Inuyasha reached for me as i stared at him. A weak but surely a smile was on my face. "No, thank-you. I needed this. I really did, I....really...did." I curled up on the ground crying-but I didn't know why. Was it because I was happy? Or was I sad? I just didn't care I needed to cry now and here. After a few minutes passed I was still crying Inuyasha decided to come in and take me out. Once I was in his arms out of Souta's little hideout I asked him something. "Can...you take me to my hideout?" I asked as he wiped the remaining tears on my face. He nodded and with a leap we were on the branch that was located in front of the door. This house was a lot taller than the one on the bottom. But inside had very little space.   
  
"OK, but we're only staying for a little while. I just don't want you to-" I silenced him with a quick kiss and went in the place. It was all girly like. Most of my items remained. As I recall I had a bruised ankle when we were packing to move. No one knew how to climb a tree but me, and Souta knew-it's just that I didn't want him to put himself in danger-so we left leaving my toys, diaries, pictures, some clothes behind in here. I went over to the little dresser and picked up a toy jewelry piece. Souta had found it and gave it to me, it was the my most favorite necklace-but I didn't tell him that.   
  
"Kagome?" I heard a distant but all to familiar voice. I turned towards the window (or what is supposed to be one) and looked down. I couldn't believe my eyes, did they betray me? I saw Souta standing down there waving a hand telling me to come down and play with him. It couldn't possibly be. I blinked several times and still he was there. He was the same brother I loved, but something was amiss but i didn't let that bother me as I flew past Inuyasha and jumped down and I think I broke my ankle but I couldn't care less since Souta began running towards the Shrine without me.   
  
"SOUTA!!! WAIT!!!" I screamed running the best I could with a possible fatal injury. Inuyasha was following me as he must have sniff the blood that began to trickle down my foot. He didn't say anything but i saw the look of confusuion on his face. Didn't he see Souta there? Was he so into me mourning that he couldn't pick up my brother's scent? Who the hell cares, I need to catch up with Souta and fast!!!   
  
"Kagome! Your injured! Stop running!!!" Inuyasha ordered me but I just kept going still seeing a faint but still seeable figure of him. "What is wrong with you wench!" Inuyasha roughly pulled me by my arm flinging me back to the ground stopping at a fence. He gasped at his own strength but I didn't feel anything. Because I was crying over my brother running away from me.   
  
"I'm so sorry. Are you hurt Kagome?" Inuyasha walked over-no-ran over to me and helped me to my feet. I had to hold onto him for support as my willpower just sank and I began to notice I could not wlak right any longer. "What happened?" He questioned me as I wiped my tears and we walked the rest of the way back to the Shrine. "I saw him-didn't you?" "Saw who?" Again with the confused look. "DOn't act dumb-Souta that's who. I saw him right on the ground and he was telling me to go play with him and once I was on the ground he began to run away from me." I explained still seeing the confused gold eyes stare at me unbelievingly. "You mean you didn't see?" "I saw no one, smell no one, felt no one there but us." I let me head fall my bangs covering my eyes. "Oh..." And then I let darkness engulf me as I heard Inuyasha panickly saying my name. "Sou...ta..." I coughed out with blood. Inuyasha then took hold of me and rushed back to the house and got me needed medical attention.   
  
"Inuyasha, you did say you brought her near our old house before her father inherited the shrine?" Kagome's mother questioned me. I nodded once again, trying my best not to reveal the secret of her old hideouts and of the mishap of seeing Souta. "Inuyasha is Kagome going to be okay?" Shippo cried into my chest. I rubbed his head fatherly and nodded trying to reassure him and myself. Kagome was coughing blood when she blacked out, plus her ankle was swollen and also bloody. What was it that she saw, because Souta was still very much alive-could it be? No it couldn't, could it? Could it be one of Naraku's wooden puppet?  
  
"Inu...yasha?" Kagome blinked a couple of times and tried to sit up. I quickly ran to her side with Shippo clutching onto my t-shirt I had put on recently. "Kagome, you alright?" I asked as I sat behind her supporting her up. Shr cringed as she touched her ankle that was puffy right now. "I'll be okay, so tell me, was it really him there?" She looked at me knowing I knew the answer. "No, I think-it's a possibility-that he that you saw wasn't the real he, but a demon puppet." She stiffened as I think realization hit her. "You mean---Naraku is behind all this?" I smelt the on coming tears, the salty-ness I needed not from any women much less from my Kagome. "I was planning to tell you tonight as we sat under the stars, but it has come to this, your family must know of it too." "KNow of what inuyasha?" She grabbed my arm clear drops dripping from her face onto the blanket.   
  
"Souta's...dead....but alive...very much alive...."   
  
A/N: I'm ending there so hah! Okay not really ending there but ending there? You know? *Silence reign* OKay maybe you don't know but anyways I stop it right here and then it'll make you read the next chapter as result and more reviews right? Okay review plaese and flmaes are allowed but I really couldn't care less. I know I have grammar problems and spelling and maybe the plot is a bit hard to follow but if you stick with me in the end you'll come out happy. I think I'll proabably end this story abrutly like at the 8th chapter not sure now. Anyways I'm already starting on my 4th chapter and you don't need to worry so I'll update as soon as I can. Bye!! Oh and neeed any ideas to add in the story too thanks for reading!!! 


	4. ch 4

Steel Blade of Loneliness  
  
By: Silver Teardrops  
  
Chapter 4  
  
~First off I just like to thank this one reviewer that stuck with me since the beginning and i just want to point her out *looking for her through the crowd* and there she is Hanyou-girl25 thanks so much for the much wanted reviews i promise if you want anything to be done in the story I'll add it in just email me or review it!!! Thanks soooo much again! If ppl keep reviweing each update I'll give a shoutout tew them too! ~  
  
"I don't understand? Inuyasha tell me what really happened when you returned to the well before you came back here today." I said demanding some answers. I was tired and sore but I needed to know. "I came back and Naraku was fighting off against Miroku and Sango. When I got there Sango had been badly injured and Miroku was trying his best fighting him off with his staff. So I came into help." "And??" I questioned further. He sighed and took my hand in his. "You're not going to like it." "It's about Souta, isn't it?" I asked my voice in a whisper as I tried to fight the on coming tears. "Aa." After moments of hesitation and he still hasn't further into more details I demanded to know-even though I wasn't sounding all high and mighty. "Inuyasha go on, tell me what did he do? What happened when You started to fight Naraku?"   
  
"Naraku was losing at the time since he was weaken when we took the shards that he had from him and so he was once again up to his dirty tricks. I was using the wind scar on him and right at that moment he took me by surprise and brought forth..." He quieted down and stopped altogether. And I just knew what he was going to say so I finished his sentence. "Souta." "Yes, and it wasn't like what happend to Kohaku, not the same bit. As far as I can tell Kohaku was dead-much dead only one thing kept him alive-a shikon shard. But Souta, he was alive and well, but he was under a spell of some sort. Souta had injured me during the fight and at the same time begged me and the rest to flee from the battle so we did. I was confused as ever, so we went to Kaede to sort things out." "And? Did she figure something out?" I asked clutching now on inuyasha arm. " "She said she needed time and once she had the item she would give it to Miroku and Sango to give it either to me or you, the only person that it would work with." Inuyasha sighed as I began to cry. I couldn't help myself, I needed to. I knew what the very item was and it was hanging about my very own neck. How was I to defeat my brother-who is alive and can speak his own mind-but can not stop what he is doing?   
  
"Kagome, it's alright, we're going to figure this out, we just got to wait for the item to come to us and then we can solve it." Inuyasha tried to calm me down but only made it worse. Through my sobs I said, "Inuyasha...the item...I have...it. It's this." As i produced the black roseary he nearly fainted as it was-as I said before-identical to his except it was all black. "Do you know how to use it then Kagome?" He asked as he touched the necklace. I shook my head, "Nuh uh, do you?" He shook his head no too. So that only meant one thing. "We're goign back to the Feudal Era." Shippo said aloud what our thoughts had been thinking. "Precisely." As i looked at his figure on the stairs. He must've heard the whole conversation.   
  
"I packed some clothes-necessities-and food for all of you to last a week." My mother said handing me my trademark yellow backpack. I almost fell off the bed as I was reaching out for it-it was that heavy. As Inuyasha helped settle in on the bed by my side I opened it up and looked in. "Mother of Pearl! {a/n: Sorry I love saying mother of pearl just to get on ppls nerves!} What is all this? This is half of what you have here at the house!" I exclaimed. She smiled and tilted her head to one side. On the other hand Inuyasha and Shippo had dug into it and Inuyasha produced out bags of ramen while Shippo took out 4 chocolate bars. "Yum, my favorite!!!" Shippo screamed and I quickly grabbed hold of his tail as he was about to jump away. "No you don't, too much candy is bad for you. Just take one.---Whoa, Isounded like a mother!" I sighed and saw Inuyasha already eating. "Some things never change though." He smiled through his eating and I just slumped back into the bed.   
  
"OKay, that's all---we don't need no more, or we can't even carry the pack! Yes mom, kay, be back soon! Oh and tell Hojo to call in for me sick for the restaurant and my secretary job!" I screamed as I neared the well. She waved hollering, "Okay have fun!" As soon as I entered the room I saw Inuyasha sniff the air. "What is it?" He looked at me surprised I had come so close to him. "Um, nothing, it's nothing." //Inu's thoughts//--souta-he was just here, could it been that she really did see Souta? no, it couldn't.---  
  
"I sense something nearby, a familiar scent with it as well." Miroku muttered as he looked at Sango. She quickly knew who was upon entering the little hut they owned. "Kagome-chan! Shippo and Inuyasha! How are you guys and what brings you back here so early?" Sango greeted and questioned immediately. I forced a smile on myself but no one knew of. "Oh, had some extra time, you know and just wanted to come back for a bit to catch up on things." I noted all the while speaking the injuries on both of my teammates. As I finished I produced out of my sack two food containers and thanked God that it wasn't anything they dispise of (which my mother always had a tendency of putting it into my things) {A/N: I'm assuming Kagome isn't too wild about some of her mother's cooking- that's all I'm implying nothing more.} "Wow, this looks delicious Kagome, what occasion of it?" Miroku asked as he cautiously took one of the containers he liked. "Oh, thought you might be hungry...if not..." He quickly shook his head no gobbling half of it. Sango's hand was twitching and we all knew what that meant---SLAP!!!  
  
"Couldn't you have at least been curdious enough to let her settle down first and eat with us?" Sango complained to her boyfriend and he sheepishly grinned as a bumped grew on his cheek. Everyone was eating after a few choice words were given to Miroku from his girl friend. I sat through it all relishing the fact that i was back in the feudal era and with my friends, but my smile fell as I remembered my only reason of coming here and Inuyasha noticed it. "Kagome? You alright?" I then resumed my smiling and nodded. "So where's Kaede? I need to speak with her, if she's not busy." I said as I stood up and everyone followed my actions. "Um, Kaede is around back, um, come let all of us go together." Miroku said taking his staff leaning on the wall with him as he lead all of us to the back of the hut. And as said, there she was tending to some herbs of hers.   
  
"Kagome, my dear, what brings ye back here so sudden?" Kaede questioned merrily but i saw past her wrinkled smile, she knew why. I stared back with the same false smile. "You know why I'm here, and if it's not too much trouble I would like to know very soon." And quickly she stood up from the ground and signaled for me and Inuyasha to come with her. Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara stood there trying their best to hear what was being said between us. "So, how is it to work Kaede?" I asked as we were a good 15 feet away from the rest. "Kagome, how can ye be sure ye want to do this?" Inuyasha stared at me with a lost puppy dog look, telling me think it over before doing it. I was determined no matter what I'll try and save my brother Souta from Naraku's plan. "I can be sure because I'm determined to get my brother back Kaede." I replied. She sighed and looked from me to Inuyasha and out to the open field. "Lady Kagome, you are the only one who can help Souta. The only way is with the involvement of the black-pearl necklace I send to you and which you now wear. The only thing is, will you be able to do it?" She qeustioned without looking to me for an answer I nodded my head knowing she could sense my movements, my decisions. "Well then, I have to tell you, it won't be easy on you or the others." I was confused, what will have to be done?   
  
"Kagome you see the necklace you wear will take the spell off Souta only for a while and only if you place it on him. He will not kill anything or anybody if you are present aroundhim when he is wearing such the necklace." I smiled, was it that simple? "But-" Guess, not. "But- Kagome, when you are around he will only kill you. He can't stop since its in his order to kill everyone since the spell lusts for blood. The only way is to cut a deep gash into his right arm and only then will the spell stop." She concluded, or I thought and I burst out. "But! I cna't do that! I can't hurt him! I won't think of it!" I screamed back. Kaede finally turned back towards me and looked deep into my eyes as they began to water. "Then I'll do it. If it means you'll get him back a scar on his arm will be worth it." Inuyasha interjected. Kaede sighed again, whcih was a bad sign. "Ye hault on one's actions. Listen well child, only and only Kagome will be able to free him of his spell." Inuyasha stopped in his mad tracks and turned around. "But she swears she won't ever hurt him, then how is she to get him back?" Inuyasha questioned her and she ignored as she only looked at me. I was crying and wanted to ask one thing only, "Is there another way?" She nodded her head yes. And I stopped crying. "So? Tell me...how?"   
  
"But Kagome, you can't do it, it's not right." Inuyasha held me in his arms as we sat on the edge of the bone-eaters well. I was shaking but I was determined. "It is the only way to save him without harming him." I said monotonously. He stared at me in disbelief. "But, would you do that for him? What about the rest of us, your family back home and your friends here, and me and him." Inuyasha tried to reason with me again. "No, it's final. I won't cut that deep gash on him, it'll be hurting him. So I must take the second way." I stood up and whispered my choice into the wind. "I must let Souta stab me in my chest and smear my blood on his hands and then he will be free and I'll die happy knowing he is still alive to live his young life." And with that said I walked back to the hut and heard Inuyasha silent sobs as I left him. 'Don't cry, I'll still be with you always.'   
  
A/N: okay that's if for the chapter, I think it'll end like in 3 or two more chapters I'm not really sure but sorry for the long update. I had too much homework and too much tests to study. I needed some time to catch up in my Spanish class so sorry for all those who wanted to read. I promise you the ending will be a lot better than what it may seem and the language will be a lot more on the mature level so please get ready for more chapters and I'm apologizing again for not updating sooner, I hope you;ll keep revewing and if you have time read my other works on ff.net. Kay see ya! 


	5. ch 5

ch. 5  
  
Inuyasha sat by my side all evening long. It has been hours since we sat together on the well. And now all he had done was nod when metioned to and glared at the fire in the middle of the room. Miroku and Sango had long since curled up together and fallen asleep. Kirara and Shippo had done the same the only ones awake were of me and him. Kaede had tended to a woman in labor so she was out for the night. He inched closer to me when he shivered. What has gotten into him? Is he that upset over my decision? Should I cut---no I promised myself i will not harm him and harm him I will not. No matter who ends up hurt, even if by my own happiness, I will not harm him.   
  
"Inuyasha?" I asked as he began to shake. He looked up at me and I saw in his gold eyes were sorrow, hurt, loneliness. I wanted to cry to hold onto him for the last time since tomorrow may be the last day we spend together alive. "Aa, Kagome?" He asked as he held my hands in his. I wanted so bad to keep my strong facade up but I knew I couldn't, never could. I cried, I cried into his chest and he held me close and I heard him begin to sob with me. After a few minutes of desperate crying I let go of him and looked up once again in his watery gaze. "Inuyasha, I really don't want to die...but if it means souta will live freely, I have to." My thoughts came out of my mouth in a hurry as more sobs wracked my throat and again he cluthced me tighter not letting me go. I placed my ear on his heart and listened to his fast beating heart as it drummed me to a fitfull sleep.   
  
~  
  
Kagome, why, why do you have to die? Why can't you just cut him on the arm? Sometimes your just a plain softhearted bitch. Always thinking of others before yourself. But think about me, your friends and family. What will they do when they find out you gave up your life to save Souta, they'll cry like they did for Souta. And even if Souta stays alive, he'll end up wasting his life away mourning for you, blmaing himself for your death. What kind of life are you giving him then? Kagome, what about me? What about a family? What about a marriage? Will we ever be able to now? I'll be alone again Kagome, I don't wnat to be alone any longer. It hurts don't you know? Of course you don't. You always had friends, you've always had your family. But what about me? All I ever had was Kikyo and then she was gone and now you, I don't think I can live anymore if you died.   
  
I felt her place her ear over my heart and finally her breathing even out and she fell into a fitfull sleep, occasionally whimpering but nothing more. I looked down at her face as her brows was in a frown. I took my finger and smoothen it out adn her face finally looked peacful. Kagome, what am I gonna do, when I lose you too? The question echoed through my mind all day since she decided what she'll do and now I sleep dreaming of the future and what come with it.   
  
~  
  
Morning came by faster than I would've wanted it to. I sat up off Inuyasha chest and rubbed my eyes as I heard Inuyasha stretching. "Kagome?" "Yes?" I turned to look at him, his gold eyes lost its brightness and his smile was no longer on his face. "Sango and Miroku went off early in the morning to bathe, seperately Sango told me." He had a slight smirk but not close to a real smile. "Oh, where's Shippo and Kirara then?" I asked as I rmeember seeing no one as I woke. "He went off on a walk just a while ago. Said he wanted some time to think or something." I laid my head on his shoulder as I thought. Todays the day, I feel it, I know it. "Want to eat something?" I asked as I played with his silver hair. He nodded and I pulled my bag over and made some ramen for him and me to enjoy together.   
  
We ate in comfortable silence as we sat inches away. He wasn't eating at his fast pace but at a more steadily pace, his eyes were staring at his food as if he was in a faraway land. I just kept quiet, he might want his time alone.   
  
"Kagome...can we...take a walk?" Inuyasha asked solemnly as I stood up. "Sure, let's go." I said as he took my hand and I helped him to his feet and we both went out of the hut into the clear blue day.   
  
"So..." He said trying to end the silence that engulfed us on our small walk. "Inuyasha, I have to know, do you understand why I'm doing this?" I asked as I let go of his hand. He gazed deeply into my eyes intently then it soften and he turned away, "Yes, I do. But---" I placed my lips on his and he was tense for a moment then he wrapped his arms around my waist. We released to gather our breathes.   
  
"Kagome, I--You know I just don't want to lose you. I mean. I Lost my parents and then Kikyo and now you? I can't bear it all." He confessed and he let his head fall limply to hide his fogged gold eyes. I held back my emotions and just stood there looking at him crumble before me. "Inuyasha, I told you. It is what i have to do, not what I want to. The thing I want most is to live with everyone I love alive and healthy and with you by my side forever." He let his head snap up at my remark. "Really?" "But it won't happen." I said as I walked further away from him. He silenced and followed suit.   
  
We passed a river and I turned around decided a quick funtime might make the heavy sorrowful air lighten up a bit. I quickly grabbed Inuyasha's hand and ran all the way back to the gorgeous river. "Hey! Kagome where are you going?" "You'll see!" And I saw it just up ahead and rn even faster than I thought possible, wanting to have fun with him and have it as a memory and wanting the sadness to disappear even for just a little while. I leaped into the air and Inuyasha had been taken with me and we both fell into the cold, but refreshing water. "Kagome!" "Hahaaha, Inuyasha, let's play!" I started to splash water on him and he began to smile again and ran after me around the shallow edge of the river. Then we swam into the deeper running parts and floated feeling the current pass through us, enjoying the feel.   
  
"Kagome, what made you think of doing this?" Inuyasha asked as I silenced down. "I wanted to have fun!" I screamed and he chuckled a bit at how childish I had sounded. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned in and whispered into his ear, "I love you, because you love me." He blushed and I moved my lips from his ears and onto his lips. It was like a scene out of a romance novel. Two lovers who are destined by fate to be apart kiss passionately in a river. Wet and glistening in the sun. I departed his sweet lips and dove under to just be completely surrounded by blue. He followed suit and we both held hands under smiling. Then I saw something and started to say something- then remembered I was underwater and I was drowning so I quickly popped back up and gasped for air while Inuyasha was cracking up behind me. I scolded him but not too serious though because i was laughing myself.   
  
We had moved from being in the water to laying on the side of the grass and drying ourselves in the warm heat of the sun. He had his left arm under my head and his right covered the front of my waist while my hands were clutching at his hakama. My eyes felt so droopy that i closed them wanting to sleep, but before i do... "Inuyasha, for all you wanted to know, if you asked me to marry you sooner I would. If you are sad when I die, I won't forgive you. Please live for me, please? Marry someone who deserves you and you them. I love you..." I drted off into a endless dream.   
  
~  
  
"Kagome?" I asked but found she had fallen asleep in my arms. I looked at her face and at her figure, she was lovely, perfect. Why did I have to lose her though? I jerked from my thoughts and searched around the surrounding area. I had sense and smelled someone, someone is Souta. "Where are you Souta!?" I demanded and heard a rustling nearby and I was going to go off alone but Kagome was up and on her feet in no time.   
  
~  
  
Souta, he came, just like I felt it, predicted it if you say so. Today's the day, Souta, Inuyasha, Everyone else, I'll miss you truly I will. "Souta." I stated as he stepped into the clearing. I saw his hands were covered in blood and his eyes in tears. "Kagome, help me." Souta said with inaudibilty. I stood my ground , you'll be free soon dear brother, free soon.   
  
A/n: Arggh! Sorry so long! AS I said I'm 13 which means I'm in 8th grade and it's getting around the tyme where school stuffs is hard to handle and stuf but i try to work little on litte on my stories its just that I didn't have enough inspriation to write much on the days I'm soo tired. So sorrie again for making you wait! I promise to end this fic soon! Bye and again please review! 


	6. ch 6

Ch. 6  
  
Steel Blade Of Loneliness  
  
By: Silver Teardrops  
  
Hanyou-girl25: I'm very sorry it's been like a month since I updated but I had a writers block, I still have one for this story, but I strained my mind to have this chapter out. Okay, thanx for staying wit me, and again sorry- forgive me?  
  
"Kagome!!!" Inuyasha screamed my name, but i paid no heed to it as I advance towards him, not caring about anything, but saving him from that awful spell. Souta moved towards me also only, his face was so sad that I was crying with him. "Kagome-go-run." Souta mouthed rasing the steel blade of his sword up. I smiled and shook my head no reaching out for him. I had removed that necklace around my neck so gracefully and quick that even I didn't know I was doing it. I placed it on Souta and stepped nearing him. And as soon as he looked from Inuyasha he looked dead at me. His eyes had turned a shade of dark red and his mouth no longer moved to the real Souta's will. It was formed into a small smirk a content smile if you may. I looked from INuyasha to Souta once again, I let my hands fall to the ground and just stood there trying to save enough energy to smear the so called blood onto my little brother's hands. I knew he would hate me for doing so, but at least he can hate me; alive. But as I saw the Steel gleam in the bright light, I closed my eyes awaiting the flesh slicing sound of my own. But it never happened. I opened my eyes to find Inuyasha's determined face in view.   
  
~  
  
I wasn't going to let her die! I couldn't, even if she ordered me, even if she hated me for doing so. I just couldn't. I can't just stand there and watch her die smiling, it's not my way. I'd rather her die when she is old and by my side. So I did the only thing possible, take her out of Souta's way and run as if all the world depended on her being alive. I know-I've disappointed Kagome, I didn't value her choice. INstead I'm making her choice. Running away from her brother.   
  
~  
  
"INuyasha!!!!" I screamed banging on his arms to release me. But I know he did it for the right reason but what about Souta? He was just going to let him kill, when he knows Souta could never think of such a thing. I cried still yelling at him to let go. I even went down to pleading and crying. "Inuyasha...onegai! I need to...Souta! He can't live a normal life in this era, murdering others! Inuyasha onegai, for me." I pleaded my eyes red and my cheeks full of tears. He stopped and looked at me. I just noticed, his eyes were foggy too, and his cheeks were full of trails of tears. He had been crying. I tried to squirm out of his tight hold but he had burried his head into my chest crying louder than before-pleading to me; like I had earlier to him. I couldn't do anything but stand in shock. I know Inuyasha cried, but I never saw him break down like this before, he was soo vulnerable.   
  
~  
  
"Kagome, Onegai I'm begging you, don't do this. I don't want to lose you. I need you. I don't want to be alone anymore. Onegai." I kept repeating it, in my mind, and to Kagome. I didn't care if she thought I was weak for breaking so fast like this but any guy who loves his girl too much would rather die than see her throw her life away. I knew I had ran more than miles away from Souta, and he doesn't ahve special abilities so he might take a whole day to catch up. So I just held onto her not wanting her to run back to him and end her life.   
  
~  
  
We had resigned underneath a tree, Inuyasha was in deep silence and I just stared at him. He was leaning on a tree beside me, while I sat beside him in the open. "kagome...I didn't mean to make you ahte me. I didn't mean to- I just-i couldn't just be there." Inuyasha incoherantly said not looking at anything in particular. "Inuyasha, I love you. So Onegai, understand my decisions. Onegai let me do this. Let me do this for Souta. For everyone who misses him-" Inuyasha burst at my plead. "What? Who misses him? What about you? A lot of people misses you! You need to think about the consequences that will come of your death! If you do the other option to Souta he'll still be alive, he'll just have a scar! Nothing else! kagome Listen! I love you! I don't want to be left here! Who will be by me then? Who!? Answer me this!" I looked at him in another light, he was brash but he was concerned. But I couldn't I wouldn't I'm stubborn, just like he, he should know that.  
  
"No! Inuyasha you listen! I can't hurt him! No matter what! You hear me? This is the only way I will do it and nothing will change it! I love you too, but you have to know that I will never leave you! You hear that, I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU!!!" I screamed and ran towards him burrying my face in his chest only to feel him stiffen. "Kagome, I don't know you anymore. I can't. If you die, then it'll be better if you and me split up." He said standing up letting me fall to the ground. "But! I need you INuyasha! Don't leave me!" I yelled at his back. "Why can you leave me, and I can't leave you?" He asked walking away and disappearing into the dense forest. I stared at it so long that I became cold.   
  
"Inuyasha, did you really mean it? We're not longer...a 'we'?" I asked after the hours I spent staring. I stood up and I heard rustling, maybe I could die now, Inuyasha isn't here to prevent it and right now, I'm at the lowest self esteem I had ever been in my whole life. I stood up and looked at the source of moving bushes and waited for the person to come out. But the person wasn't Souta, instead it was Miroku. "Kagome?" He asked as I opened my eyes. I blinked several times to make sure he was actually real. He went by my side and checked me to see if I was dead or injured or anything. Miroku was that kind of guy now. He didn't act much of as a pervert as when I first met him.   
  
"We have been looking for you since noon. Why are you here all alone? It's not safe." He said taking my arm with his hand and dragging me back the way he came. I stood my ground and he turned around and faced me. "What? What's the matter?" He said. I looked at him, my eyes; I thought it ran out of tears, started to become blurry and watery. "Kagome?" He asked as he neared me. "Miroku.." I sobbed, wiping furiously at my eyes. "Inuyasha, he said, we're split up. We aren't together any longer. That he left me." I sobbed into my friend's arms. He comforted me by "shh"ing me and rubbing my head. I felt like a child in his arms at that moment, even thought we're about the same height.   
  
"Inuyasha didn't mean it probably. He couldn't have. He doesn't want to leave you. maybe he was sop confused that he said that." Miroku tried to convince me but I knew better tha nto listen to a friend rather than listening to the words coming from the person's mouth themselves.   
  
a/n: endin it here so i can update i'll try my best to get another chap out be4 Christmas okay plz review, i feel lyke no one appreciates this story... 


	7. ch 7

Ch. 7  
  
Steel Blade Of Loneliness  
  
By: Silver Teardrops  
  
"Why can you leave me, and I can't leave you?"   
  
I came back to the hut where Sango held me in her grasp to comfort me as a friend should, but it helped none. It made me feel worse. Here I am, just dumped by Inuyasha, the only one I loved, and I want to die. What kind of life is this I ask? Why is it happening to me? I would've been a lot better off with a normal life, why couldn't it happen to another girl? "Kagome?" Lady Kaede's voice seeped through my confused mind. "Hai?" I asked getting out of Sango's hug. "May I talk to ye, privately?" I nodded and stoof up following her out of the entrance.   
  
"What's going on?" She asked; her back to me. "What do you mean?" I asked innocently. "I hear ye and Inuyasha are apart, what happened? You two were like a married couple. How could you give up so easily?" She turned around and for the first time I noticed how she aged. She didn't look like she did always to me, her face seemed so pale and her body seemed frail. "Kaede, I- I don't know what to do anymore." I admitted letting my head fall. "Kagome, you do know what to do. Ye must let go of your fears and cautions and go for it." "But, he said he wanted us to split up! That means he doesn't even want to see me! He claims now, he doesn't know me." I began to cry again. Why Inuyasha? Why can't you let me die?  
  
"You know you want to die for ye brother right? But how can I say this, Inuyasha doesn't want to lose you, no matter what. He rather let you live and him pretend to hate you. You understand child?" I shook my head no. What is all this? How does she know what he thinks? When I should know? I mean I was his one and only right?  
  
~  
  
"Kagome...I didn't mean to." I whispered as my nose sniffed the air to find more tears of the one I love floating towards me. How could I do such a thing? No. I can't just sit here and sulk. She needs me, and I need her. I just got to get to her, the other facts are unimportant, only she is.   
  
I took my stance and leaped from tree to tree reaching the forest clearing where Kagome and Kaede was at.   
  
"But he, he- I don't know what he thinks when I don't even know what I'm thinking. All I know is I love him, and I love my brother." Kagome heart-wrenching voice went to my ears. I jumped down and moved towards her in a flash and my arms wound themselves around Kagome's slim waist.   
  
"I'm sorry..."   
  
~  
  
I felt warm arms around my waist and soon warm voice was heard... "I'm sorry." I turned around and found a flash of silver hair gleaming under the light of the stars and golden sorrowful eyes. "Inuyasha..." I said no more because he enveloped me in a strong but gentle hug. "I take back all that I said. I love you and would never leave you. I just-don't want to be alone. You are the only one who makes me feel, complete. I just-" I silenced him with a kiss.   
  
"Inuyasha, I still don't know what to do anymore, but I know one thing. I can still love, and I still love you." I smiled as a small egotistic smirk appeared on his handsome face. "Oh? How about we go somewhere private?" He joked. I started to play hit him but Kaede coughed to tell us she was still there. "Kaede, thank you." I bowed to her. "Ye not need to thank me. But to think of the future." She turned and entered the hut again. Think of the future? Of Souta or Inuyasha?   
  
"I need to talk to you." Inuyasha brought my mind back. "Okay shoot." I said pulling him to the ground, letting myself slide into his lap. "Kagome, I hate what you want to do, but I decided, I will go along with it no matter what now. You have my permission." He said depressed; stroking my hair. "You mean you'll let me help Souta my own way?" I asked. "Hai Koishii, I will." He kissed the top of my head and continue his hair stroking. I leaned back on him. He lets me die now, but what about him? Will I just leave him? If I do, how will he end up?  
  
"Inuyasha?" I asked tkaing his stroking hand and holding it. "Kagome?" HIs eyes turned wide. I pulled him deep into the forest and pushed him down in an area. "Kagome? What's going on?" He asked looking around. "Inuyasha...aishiteru." I dropped to my knees and crawled towards him. I took his face in my hands and kissed him-full force and he held back at first but eventually he gave in and took the lead. We had an intimate time together just then...probably the last.   
  
"Inuyasha, are you sure you okay?" I asked as I saw him beet red still and tripping over small rocks. "Yah I'm alright. But-um" He turned a darker shade of red, if that was even possible. "Inuyasha, we love each other, there is nothing wrong with it." I assured him and tok his hand and we entered the hut. But unexpectedly we found Miroku, Sango and Kaede tide up and Shippo losing against an enemy. "Shippo!" I yelled lunging for him. He jumped aside but the attacker slung Shippo's way making him slide back into the wall; where he slid down and passed out. "You! CREEP!" I screamed and when he turned around I gasped. "Souta..." I mouthed and INuyasha immediately took his place in front of me. I pushed him aside though after a quick kiss. "Onegai, you promised." He backed off, reluctantly.   
  
Souta lunged, his balde held high, the brightness of the steel the muffuled screams of everyone but Shippo and Inuyasha was heard. I opened my arms wide, ready for what I had to do. The blade connecting my flesh, then my bones had horrifying sounds to it, and the pain, it was unbearable. I saw his eyes flickering between red and brown and black. I smiled as I took a lot of my blood from my cut and smeared it onto his two small hands and smiled up into his face as his eyes reverted back to its original color and his hands had let the blade fall and his eyes widen in shock. "Souta, you're back." I mumured as my vision blurred to the maximum and I fell to my knees forward letting the dark cold take me away. "Inuyasha...aishiteru."   
  
~  
  
Reactions...what am I supposed to do now? All I could do was stared, stupidly-at the scene which lay ahead. Kagome falling face first onto the ground. Souta shocked and unmoving. Everyone else escaped from their confindment and rushing to her side. I finally reached a reaction...  
  
"Kagome....." I fell to my knees and stared.   
  
~  
  
A/n: Whoo hOO! I'm good. But not really you must hate me for killing Kagome...don't worry next chap is the last and the longest chapter I'llhave for this fic. But guess what??? I'm not going to update for a while. I fulfilled my promise. I already updated before Christams so Hah! In your faces! heheheh but keep reviewing I love getting feedback on my fics!!! 


	8. ch 8

Ch. 8   
  
Steel Blade of Loneliness  
  
By: Silver Teardrops  
  
Sorry, I didn't know what to do, but to throw away my life for saving my little brother-Souta. He'll most probably hate me and himself later, but as long as he's alive ne? But as I wondered a black hall I started to cry. I didn't know where I was going, I didn't know how or why I entered this place, wasn't I supposed to enter Heaven or Hell? This was an endless hall where darkness touched every bit in it, engulfing me and making me more melancholy.   
  
Then suddenly as I thought I would forever roam in the darkness a sudden flash and soon I was in a white place, where everything was seemingly touched by angels.   
  
"Where am I?" I asked a loud walking into the place further.   
  
"You're in-between. Higurashi Kagome." A voice suddenly came from behind me and I jumped and turned to find a handsome man standing there, and I knew it wasn't anyone, but probably just another guardian angel-by the way he looked.   
  
"And you are?" I left the question hanging and he chuckled.   
  
"I'm Ogata Taku. I have been watching over you since the Souta-incident. I see you've chosen the alternative. Have you not seen what your actions have done? Did you not think through the process after you have done what you want? Did you not think of others besides yourself?" Taku questioned me all at once and I began to cry harder. I knew he was right. I knew I had made a mistake and done what selfish things only a spoiled-girl would do.   
  
"Iie..." I whispered through all my sobs and I felt arms around me and I looked through all my tears to see an image of a blurred Taku hugging me.   
  
"Ogata-san?"   
  
"Kagome...do you want to see what the others are doing since your death?" Taku asked softly as he comforted me. I was doubting everything I had done, sure- I did save Souta, but i lost myself all in the process, how could I be so dumb?  
  
"H-hai Ogata-san, onegai." I whispered in reply and wiped furiously at my non-stopping tears. He pulled my hands from my face and smiled at me.   
  
"Need not to redden your eyes further Kagome." Then he took me-somehow and we were where the others were, Inuyasha already clutching my non-moving body and I gasped. Everything was playing out before me like a angst rated movie. But the only thing that was different was that- I was part of it.   
  
"Watch, and see." Taku said letting go of me and I walked a bit forward, closer to Inuyasha and myself.   
  
"Kagome....why did I become so stupid to let you do this? I should of been stubborn and denied you rights to-to- kill yourself!" Inuyasha exclaimed burying his tear flowing face into my body and cried shaking both of the bodies. I fell to my knees and touched his cheeks as he pulled his face from my body and my hand went through it and I fell to the ground without support. My face dug into the ground but- the thing that hurt most was, I wasn't able to touch him.   
  
"Ogata-san, why was I so stupid? Why am I?" I asked crying as I was pulled up by Taku and he sadly shrugged his shoulders and then brought me to where Miroku and the others were. They were untied by now, but they seemed so lifeless and acting like puppets. Someone controlling their very movements because they had no emotions to power their actions.   
  
"Miroku! She-she-she's gone isn't she?" Sango eyes were flowing and still she was denying my death, denying the truth, denying reality. I saw the hurt on her face, in her eyes, in her voice. Miroku sat there and reached his arms around her and wrapped her in an embrace and kissed her forehead lightly.   
  
"Sango, how could she? After all we've been through how could she? How...." He whispered as his body shook from every word, it was Sango's cries that shook him and then he join in, both crying to each other and trying to forget, to to wake up from this nightmare. Then I glanced towards Kaede who was seated in teh corner her back hunched and she holding something-or someone.   
  
"Kaede!!!! Kagome! Kagome! Where's Kagome?" A frantic voice screamed, it's youthfulness, it's innocence, it's Shippo.   
  
"Shippo...she's...gone to a better place now." Kaede strained out from her voice. She was crying but she had to be strong at least for Shippo's sake. I bent down to the two of them, remeniscencing the times I protected Shippo, how many times I talked with Kaede like a grandmother.   
  
Here I was, dead, but also doubting everything I've done when I was alive. I hurt so many people, but those people are the ones I care for most.   
  
"Ogata-san...why, are you letting me see this, isn't it- too late to change it?" I asked meekly as I looked up to see him standing beside me. He smiled forlornly.   
  
"Iie, it isn't. That is why Kagome- You have a choice, to live, or to die. You're still able to live again, if that is you want."   
  
Do I want to live? Do I want to go through life everyday, knowing I hurt the people I cared for? KNowing they are peobably just as hurt as ever, knowing myself that I hurt them myself. Or do I die and fade away in the darkness and never again see the faces of those who I hold dearly...which....of course- I wasn't a baka- I want to live...  
  
"Ogata-san?" I asked getting up determination written in my eyes.   
  
"Kagome, I know your decision, follow me...." He took my hand and led me back to Inuyasha and placed me by him. I stared at Taku confused.   
  
"Fall into your body, and you shall live once again. You can only do so, if the person who if holding you wish you were back, if not- then- I guess you have no other choice." Taku informed me and I nodded. But before I entered my body Taku stopped me.   
  
"And before you go, I think I should tell you this. Your wounds will heal upon how much you are wanted-needed back. And when you do, congratulations, you're going to be a mother." He smiled and patted my head and then dissapated. I smiled awkwardly.   
  
"Inuyasha, you heard that dear? You're going to be a tousan, and I'll be the kasaan." I smiled at him and soon fell into my body, and I began to feel bolts and vile wanting to go up out of my throat. I wheezed and soon I felt the hole in my heart closing up. Then I heard gasps and felt that hold around me stiffen.   
  
"Hey..." I murmured and opened my eyes a bit. The night shone brightly, as if it was just day, maybe I'm just appreciating life more or maybe it was his eyes that made me feel that way, but no matter what- I was glad I had a second chance.   
  
"Ka-kag-kagome???" He asked his tears ceasing for a second before continuing but at a more contented pace. I smiled as he hugged me, then I felt my wounds dissapear just as Taku had informed me. Inuyasha was ripped apart from me reluctantly by Miroku and Sango who rushed over as they heard Inuyasha's voice utter my name as if I was talking to him.   
  
"Sango...Miroku...hey." I once again could not think of anything but 'hey' lame but just as good. They squeezed me a little too tight but I didn't mind. I was healed, in mind, heart, and body.   
  
"Shippo? Souta?" I asked them as they released me and the two who I treated as though they were my brothers (which Souta is of course but Shippo) and they ran into me full speed tears still cascading down their cheeks.   
  
"Sis! I thought I'd lost you! Gomen I didn't want to but-" Souta tried to apologized but I hushed him with a smile.   
  
"It's okay Souta, I love you bro." I smiled as he resumed hugging me. Shippo then jumped on the two of us and cried very hard.   
  
"Kagome you're back! I thought- You're back!" He screamed and jumped up and down and huggin me and then repeated the whole process. I smiled at all of this. This was the things I was willingly to give up? What was I thinking?   
  
"Inuyasha?" I asked as the two calmed down and stopped embracing me. He stepped up, a smile on his face, and his arms wide open. I took that sign and ran into them and cried into his chest. he chuckled as he smoothed out my hair.   
  
"Don't you ever do something like that again, you hear?" His voice sounded joking-like but I knew better and shook my head.   
  
"I won't." He held onto me tightly and I looked over his shoulder and saw Taku smiling at me and waving. His mouth was moving and I saw what he said.   
  
'Trust in others, they'll help you through. Especially when you doubt wanting to be pregnant.'   
  
I laughed and Inuyasha thought i turned crazy but then I whsipered into his sensitive ears very lightly.   
  
"You're going to be a tousan." He blushed crimson and was stuttering for words. I laughed so hard but i was glad. I came back, and already a family is forming.   
  
"Then Kasaan, let's get married." He said after regaining his speech.   
  
"In a bit of a rush aren't we dear?" I joked and then the others overheard somehow and I was once again squeezed except this time, Inuyasha was in the middle of it all screaming and hollering to be let loose.   
  
Im glad I'm back, I had a baby, I have a soon-to-be husband, and wonderful friends and family to back me up all the way. How stupid was I to let the steel blade of Loneliness take me and turn me in the wrong direction, I was really a baka....kagome no baka...I smirked and soon returned back to the present situation, I felt like bile was wanting to come out from my throat...I felt horrible...I felt mad...I felt like doubting pregnacy was a good thing....Ogata-san darn thee....  
  
The End   
  
A/n: Should I do a sequel...nah scrath that idea, I rarely updated this one and if I had a sequel you'll probably kill me because I won't be updating and you might want to find out what Kagome is going through just 9 months of throwing up, trantrums, and so much more. That is a good idea, but I won't do it. I'm sorry, but if I get many reviews I just might rethink my decision. heheh gomen for the VEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY long wait. Hope you liiked the ending!   
  
*_Silver Teardrops_* 


End file.
